Although I never thought for a million years I was pregnant this time around. I mean come on, I saw a freakin' negative a day after my period should have been here. I guess that was my first clue I missed. My period wasn't here. It wasn't here because I was having a chemical pregnancy.
I went to the doctor on Monday for more blood work and an u/s and the u/s showed nothing! There might have been a small tiny dot that could have been something that tried to implant. My tubes looked clear and so I was a little less worried about a tubal pregnancy. My blood work came back and my beta was dropping nicely. From 180 to 46. I went back Thursday a.m. for more blood work and my beta dropped even more to 11 so it was safe to say we were having another miscarriage and there was no chance of a tubal! Thank heavens!
To me, this wasn't a true miscarriage. I would consider it more of a chemical pregnancy - one that never implants. I feel the two are very different but still, I got pregnant and can't keep them around too long. WTF. I had Claire fine. No help, no worries. Carried her to term and she was healthy. We are confused. Something changed in my body in the last 3 years. We are going to do some additional testing to see if something is up or if these two were just freak accidents.
This one hasn't hit me too hard because I didn't even realize I was pregnant until it was too late. I had basically two days to think about a baby within. By the third day I was cramping and my beta was dropping. That night, my period arrived!
Doc wants to wait a couple of months, I'm saying I will take this month off and try again in Oct. I hope he agrees. I want to get a move on things and get a sticky/healthy bean inside of me. I think we will be brave souls and try and IUI next time. That way only healthy and correct shaped sperm get in and get to the egg!
Time will tell what the future holds but I hope it holds many more babies!
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