1st U/S

I had my first follicle check on Friday - I have two. One on each side, a 13 and a 14. Now we have to cross our fingers both or at least one grows to the proper size so we can induce ovulation with the lovely hcg trigger shot. I go back tomorrow for U/S #2. Hopefully things will be looking up! I have to have faith, I have to have hope. I just have to believe in something!

Reading About Others, Gives Me Hope

A blog I follow has been through SO much over the last 5 months. She had her first baby Nov 2009 through IVF and recently they've been working on number 2. She's gone through FET cycles, another fresh IVF cycle and finally another FET cycle. Through it all she's had 3 miscarriages and finally she is healthy and pregnant with baby #2. Reading and following, hoping and praying for her it has given me some hope. Hope that I'm not alone and sometimes what you are going through, others are going through something a lot worse. Life is full of unpredictable moments, especially with a life of infertility. I just hope that my miracle baby #2 will be with us shortly. The passion and want is getting so high. Thankfully, I have Claire that settles it most of the time with her 2 year old behavior! It gives me the patients I need to hold on, to know that sometime I will have baby #2 in my belly and then in my arms.

I took my last Clomid pill on Sunday. Now here we are, it's Tuesday. I've been a little crampy on and off. Not sure if that means I am going to ovulated sooner then my u/s appointment (which is day 14) or if my ovaries are working in over drive making more then one egg to release. I'm okay with twins. I actually had a dream around the time I lost baby "Sam", that next time I get pregnant I will be pregnant with twins because "Sam" was taking away to soon from me so God would bless me with two miracle babies. No matter one or two. I will be thrilled!

At least this month, I know I have a chance. A chance like everyone else who is "normal". I probably just want it 10x worse then those "normal" ladies!

Day 4

Today will be Clomid day 4, cycle day 8. I'm feeling good, trying to stay confident. I go back Friday for a follicle check. I'm actually nervous that nothing will be happening. Last time I ovulated later but I ovulated. I hope that I ovulated on 50mg. I don't want to waste a month, just to start over next month with a stronger pill. I've been praying. We're in the middle of trying to find some place to live. Renting is fine as long as we are saving a little or rent-to-own. It's stressful because the area we want is very competitive and everyone wants to rent/rent-to-own in the area so condos/town-homes/homes for rent get snatched up very quickly! I know everything will work out. We have faith and that's all that matters.

And It Begins...

Today is the day, Day 1 of Clomid on CD5. I'm excited and nervous but truthfully I'm trying not to think about it too much. I'm going with the flow and hoping it's flowing in the correct direction. I go back to Doc next Friday CD14 for an follicle check! From now until then, I will take my clomid, DD with the hubby and pray!

Cycle 1

Cycle 1 started Saturday! I called Doc and I'm going in tomorrow afternoon for an u/s and blood work. I'm not getting my hopes up because I know it happening on the 1st try is slim to none. I wanted to happen as soon as possible but more importantly I want it to happen and stay. Let the "fun" begin!

I Think My "Visitor" Should Be Here Soon

Yup, I'm pretty sure my special friend is right around the corner. The progesterone has been stopped and now we wait. Spotting has started. I'm thinking we missed ovulation last month but seriously, I'm not bummed. I never expected for that to happen. Who knows it could have been my hormones playing a joke. Anywho -I'm really excited that this month, we have a chance like all the "normal" couples out there. I'm not looking forward to all the doctor appointments, blood draws, u/s, meds etc.. but I will do ANYTHING for baby number 2. I know baby B, now named Sam, is looking down and picking out the healthiest brother or sister for Claire. I will keep you posted, with my upcoming appointments. I will be calling doc as soon as AF shows her very ugly face. Praying for one (or two) healthy bean(s) this time around!

Feeling Out

I feel out. I'm starting to second guess myself. I know this is a miracle that I ovulated on my own. I should just be working to start my period now I'm sitting her in my TWW, wondering and wishing. I just hope we might, by some far chance we caught the egg. The egg that  after two whole months of spotting and bleeding decided to be released! I have to hang on to some hope because with infertility you are always holding on to hope because with out hope it's a very lonely and long process! It's in God's hands as it always as been!

Two Lines That Match

I think I might have ovulated, get this ON MY OWN! WHAT! Thursday I started having physical signs and then again on Saturday. A LOT of physical signs! I took an ovulation test out of a whim and bam, there it was two lines that matched! They were the same color, meaning I'm ovulating, ovulated or going to ovulate! Anyway you want to say it, I'm doing what I should be doing! HA. Even after two months of bleeding!

I also called my RE on Friday like I said I was going to. He instructed to take a HPT, if negative (which it was) to go ahead a start my left over progesterone, 2 times a day for 10 days. I haven't yet taken it because of this whole ovulation thing that happened. I am going to start tomorrow and then call my RE back on Tuesday to see what we will want me to do, continue or stop the progesterone!

I'm just hoping we have caught the egg. It will truly be a miracle and I believe in miracles!