Not Sure

I'm nausea, my boobs are bigger and hurt on and off,  I have heartburn, smells bother the crap out of me but yet I'm spotting. Urgh. I hate spotting. HATE it. It's been happening on and off for a couple weeks, pink and brown. Lasting a little bit and then it's gone. Today I woke up to diluted redish colored blood - yippy. Something new to dwell on and worry about. I have another u/s on Monday and I'm sure we will be getting bad news but at least I am ready for it. The spotting which didn't even fill a panty liner has turned to a brownish/tan/yellowy color. Good, maybe? Who knows. Well, God knows and it's all in his hands. What ever will be will be and future is ours to see. I'm really holding strong to my thoughts that if this doesn't work out, I've always ALWAYS (since high school) wanted my kids 3 years apart. So if it's sooner great, if not that's okay too. I will tell you this though, number 3 (when and if number 2 is a stickin' around or whenever it happens again) we will try for number 3 as soon as he/she is 6 months+ naturally and if I'm still "broken" and need help, we will wait until a year when I wean from breastfeeding. Urgh. I should be happy and excited but truthfully I haven't been. I've been SO cautious that I'm not enjoying the moment, instead I'm worried about the future.

U/S #2

I went in thinking, it's over, there will be no heartbeat but to my huge surprise, there was. The NP did my internal u/s and she was alittle rough, it kind of hurt. After all the measurements and me looking at the ceiling, she said, here is the a nice size gestiontal sac, the yolk sac and the baby with a heartbeat. I looked and said, "really?" I was in shock, happy but still  cautious! I go back in two weeks for another u/s and if everything checks out as okay, then I get released to my regular ob. It's crazy. As of now I am pregnant. I have some hope but am not getting my hopes that everything will be perfect up too high. Stick baby stick.

U/S

Well I had my u/s yesterday- everything is measuring okay (6 weeks) but we couldn't see a heartbeat. We saw, gestational sac, yolk sac and a small fetal pole.  I know that's it's really early and we are at the start of "you may or may not" be able to see the heartbeat. I'm actually okay. I've actually googled the sh*t out of the topic and found it could go either way. Many ladies say they went in for the 6 week scan and saw no heartbeat but saw a heartbeat a week or two later, others never saw a heartbeat and some said that their doctors don't even do u/s until 7+ weeks because before that it's just too early. I'm just happy to know that it's a) not ectopic (so it can not hurt me) and b) it's not a blight ovum(which means an empty gestational sac) there is hope. Although I have none, there is a glimmer. I know it's all out of my hands, it's all up to God and the little bean within. If he wants a heartbeat, then he will have to work hard to grow, change and get that little heart a flickering. I go back on Monday to see if anything as changed. I'm not expecting much. I just hope if this bean isn't stronge that we can get back to ttc baby #2 very soon. If not now, I know soon enough I will be pregnant with a stronge, healthy baby bean.  ::Sticky baby vibes:: ::heart vibes::

Beta

Beta Results:

18dpo: 257
22dpo: 1295

doubling time 33 hours (under 2 days)! Stick Baby Stick!! Praying long and hard for this baby!

First u/s next Tuesday at 6pm, I'll be 6 weeks 2 days (from ovulation)

Symptoms as of now:
very mild cramp/pressure that comes and goes
sore nipples and slightly sore boobs
nothing sounds good but I am hungry.
bloated
tired
moody

Fingers and toes crossed for a very sticky (in the uterus) and healthy bean!