Not Sure

I'm nausea, my boobs are bigger and hurt on and off,  I have heartburn, smells bother the crap out of me but yet I'm spotting. Urgh. I hate spotting. HATE it. It's been happening on and off for a couple weeks, pink and brown. Lasting a little bit and then it's gone. Today I woke up to diluted redish colored blood - yippy. Something new to dwell on and worry about. I have another u/s on Monday and I'm sure we will be getting bad news but at least I am ready for it. The spotting which didn't even fill a panty liner has turned to a brownish/tan/yellowy color. Good, maybe? Who knows. Well, God knows and it's all in his hands. What ever will be will be and future is ours to see. I'm really holding strong to my thoughts that if this doesn't work out, I've always ALWAYS (since high school) wanted my kids 3 years apart. So if it's sooner great, if not that's okay too. I will tell you this though, number 3 (when and if number 2 is a stickin' around or whenever it happens again) we will try for number 3 as soon as he/she is 6 months+ naturally and if I'm still "broken" and need help, we will wait until a year when I wean from breastfeeding. Urgh. I should be happy and excited but truthfully I haven't been. I've been SO cautious that I'm not enjoying the moment, instead I'm worried about the future.