Depressed. Yup, that's me. Not really but slightly a little more down then normal. I just want another baby. I see all the fertile ladies out there and it doesn't make me angry or mad, it makes me sad. I want that. I want to have no worries about having my 3-4 kids I want to complete my little family. I have one amazing little girl. She is perfect to me and I want her to be able to have 2-3 brothers and sisters to play with. I know it will happen, everything happens in time.
So lets back track - I spotted the whole week before my period was due, dark brown mixed with some red. It stop the Monday after my period was due. Went a couple days with nothing and then that Friday, I started spotting pink. Sunday I start bleeding a little heavier then spotting and now I'm having a real AF. So yup, that's what's up and who in the hell knows what it means. I know I don't.
Oh....you are wondering if I ever took a pregnancy test....Nope. I'm too scared now a days. I only want to see one when I know for sure that it is a sticky, healthy baby growing within. It was best for me not to look.
Plus doc really didn't want us trying on our own, I guess I should have listen. It would a much easier wait. I don't think I was pregnant, I had no cramps like the 1st missed miscarriage and the last chemical pregnancy. I could tell something was happening. This time, nothing just bleeding.
We met with him sometime in the next couple of weeks to talk about testing and options for the next go around. Now a days I can get pregnant but I can't stay pregnant and that plainly sucks!
I just hope I can get some much needed answers and a much need preggo belly with a nice healthy baby growing within very very soon.
Life will go on, I'm just (trying) to take it one day at a time!
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